As an integrated alien of the American society I find myself in the interesting spot of being both an observer and part of some events that I consider bizarre and yet so interesting : ) In this case I am talking about romance in the workplace.  Disclaimer, even thought I have the luck of working with quite a few very intelligent, interesting and sexy women, I am not in currently involved in any romantic endeavors at work, so this is not a story about me.  

Three things FORCED me to express my opinion on this matter:

1. A very brief discussion I had with a friend over in HR that hinted that a good part of her work day was taken in dealing with love in the workplace (and the dead of love in the workplace).
2. An old European statistic that showed that most European will get married with somebody that they meet at work. (I apologize but I cannot find a digital version of the article reporting on the statistic)
3. This very funny article : Astronaut arrested in alleged kidnap attempt. (funny to anybody that is not involved in the story, just like a guy slipping on a banana peel)

The conclusion that I draw is simple.  America has no idea on how to deal with Romance in the workplace.  Somewhere, somehow, personal interactions between men and a women around the place of work has become so unnatural that an alarming number of people is becoming a direct victim of it.  victim is an appropriate term because, just like a disease, this affliction is effecting their jobs and their lives, leaving them powerless and prone to erratic behaviors.  Even people trained to share VERY close quarters with other humans for very long times in extremely stressful situations, like astronauts, are now effected by it! 

Was this disease brought over by the pilgrims themselves?  Maybe!  Let’s not forget that some of them  fled bigot Europe because considered to be too bigots!  Was it engineered by corporations that fear people would spend more time socializing then producing?  Maybe.  Is the government involved?  Are we all part of a big Matrix forced to produce electricity for a superior race of machines that found that unhappiness is more efficient?  Unlikely!

Never the less! This disease is spreading throughout the country quickly and it won’t be long till it will affect other countries and become a worldwide pandemic!

For this reason I say: fight it back!  Take matters in your own hands!  Stop the disease! The cure is simple, next time a coworker smiles at you, smile back! If he or she shares something about their personal live, do the same! And yes, if they hint to the possibility of a romantic development be candid and clearly show them that is a go or a no-go. After all not all revolutions need to be violent.

Think that you like an astronaut travelling through space in tiny capsule that you share with a few more people that are working with you to keep the capsule intact and running.  Remember that, like it or not, tomorrow when you wake up you will be still sharing  the same capsule and that you got to make it work it out no matter what.  So if you are on the sending or receiving end of that yes or no to a romance proposal deal with it in an adult way!

More pictures here

You just cannot keep people hostage for 3 days and pretend that they will be friendly to each.  The 3rd day of training get a bit violent.  We spent most of the time analyzing biz plans and proposing solutions.  Again split in teams, the comradely feeling we had the first day was gone, people were very short to each other and the mental processes were much more disorganized.  Some people just left the discussions all together. The end result was just a battle of presentations.  I'm amazed on how people can create a compelling picture of any situation... even when they have no real clue what they are talking about.  It's a great skill that I envy.  I personally have to strongly believe in something to be able to defend it and sell it to others.  I just cannot bullshit that well I guess.  The whole exercise strengthen a couple of my cardinals believes:

1. pay attention to what people are saying

2. pay double attention if they are saying it well

3. Fear not the people with weak oratory skills, fear the people that can make anything sound good.

 

Corollary to that is: Bush morals are evil no matter how bad he speaks and we need to fear him.

 

Analyzing in detail our company books were a little more fun (Geek!).

 

Best part of the day: it's over and I can go out with my friends because tonight I can sleep more then 3 hours.

Of course we won.  The VCs gave us the most capital (chocolate coins) thanks to our unbeatable strategy and the excellent presentation.  We scored 180 on about a max of 200.  the next best team scored 150.  A bit disappointed that we didn't maximize our company value but it was a good game and we did take a few losses from some unpredictable events.  The reminder of the day was pretty interesting as well.  Biz planning and HR mostly.  We also discussed the results of our homework: we had to take a questionnaire designed to unveil one's natural talents.  Sounds more like an horoscope to me.  Here are the results:

 

"

The Signature Themes report below displays my five most dominant themes
of talent, as indicated by my responses to Clifton StrengthsFinder, The
Gallup Organization's Web-based talent assessment tool.

MY SIGNATURE THEMES:

Command: People strong in the Command theme have presence.  They can
take control of a situation and make decisions.

Ideation: People strong in the Ideation theme are fascinated by ideas.
They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.

Strategic: People strong in the Strategic theme create alternative ways
to proceed.  Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the
relevant patterns and issues.

Input: People strong in the Input theme have a craving to know more.
Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

Intellection: People strong in the Intellection theme are characterized
by their intellectual activity.  They are introspective and appreciate
intellectual discussions.
"

 

The Gallup group is one of the most reputable training and consulting organization and one of the finest fortune cookie bakers in the us : )

Today I spent 8 hours In a room full or managers.  It's a dangerous thing.  So far nobody broke down and started the usual manager therapy session.  We are lucky.  The class is interesting but I hate to wake up at 6:30 to be at work at 8:30, that basicaly gives me a total of 3hrs of sleep.  Traffic is a biatch.  We played a fairly complex game for about 5 hours.  We broke down in teams and we all start a company.  First task: Set the focus of the company.  Most everybody chose Innovation, Quality and Speed. No surprises.  I took me 2 seconds to propose that internet winning combo.  Second task: pick a role in the company. I don't even know what my role is because I like to bleed into all other roles.  the best responsibility that I have is to keep time and drive the other nuts because we are late. Third: chose a motto: "The best product of tomorrow, today!", my 2sec idea again.  I let somebody else chose the name of the company: "FutureSoft!", I didn't want to appear to be too pushy.   The game is broken in 4 periods, each period we get new people to hire, new companies to engage for contracts, new initiatives to grow the company and something called "shift happens" that tends to mess things around.  Everything has costs and benefits.  The goal is to make money! Imagine that!!.  We set our company strategy quite quickly and we tried a couple of scenarios.  We rule.  At the end of the first period we are the most successful company.  The second period we decided to use our cash to maximize profits for the 4th period and our profits went down, yet we were the second most valuable company.  The first one realized some short term investments but they are screwed for the 4th period.  We played 3 period. We are ahead.  Tomorrow is the final period and presentations to our VCs.  I have full confidence that we will be the winners. 

 

Lesson learned today: doesn't matter where you put me, my team is always the best ! : )

I believe the question is a sub product of the fact that we have being forced to separate completely work and life therefore we have dehumanized the workplace and consequently our society.

I was reading the blogs of the people I have in my MSN Messenger list when I stumbled into this entry: "Work or Personal?". In my usual style I cracked a bad joke in the comments and moved on... well, at least I thought I moved on. The reality is this is a subject that recurrently pops up in my mind.

I use this bogging tool called MSN Spaces™ to write a few of my thoughts, a few of my jokes, to keep a list of my favorite things, comment on the freaky stuff I see in and out of the internet, post some pics, keep in touch with my friends all over the world, communicate, keep informed...

I am also part of the team that built this tool, I always worked on communication and social software: Netmeeting, MSN Messenger, Chat, People and Groups, Member Directory, VoiceView, Askme.com are just a few of the titles I helped deliver or maintain (all free software! Yey for me) and I always have being interested in helping people communicate (for free) so I am not here by accident and I feel very fortunate to be working on software that actually interests me.

I work my fair amount of time and I put passion in what I do, yet work is not all I do. I don’t consider work my life but I don’t consider it out of my life. I don’t live to work and I don’t work to live. I love what I do but *mainly* I do what I love.

So should I consider blogging a personal thing or part of my job?

Now, what does all this have to do with the dehumanization of the workplace? Well, the answer is in the question: “Work or Personal”.

I believe the question is a sub product of the fact that we have being forced to separate completely work and life therefore we have dehumanized the workplace and consequently our society.

Just imagine a tribe working together to take down a mammoth. Now imagine that tribe to set rules for themselves for which nobody in the tribe should be allowed to speak about the hunt once the hunt is over, nobody should be overly friendly with any other member of the tribe, nobody should ever speak about their injuries, illnesses and/or problems with any other member of tribe… Have I simplified the problem enough?

Obviously, we have evolved changed so much from the days of mammoth hunting: groups are much larger and so much more complex *yet*, I find it ironic that we are working on tools to recreate the closeness of the tribe *and* that we are doing it in a culture that fosters distance between humans.

So, here a very confusing little nested web log:

“The part I hate about my job is the fact that I always have to be ‘politely distant’. Life in a big company for a straight single Italian male manager is very difficult: reverse discrimination is a *very tangible* problem for me. How do I make new friends and avoid lawsuits? How do I express my personal interest to somebody without making them feel uncomfortable? Where is this line of separation between work and personal? Do I get to be more personal if I go to somebody birthday party or should I always keep it biz? What if they come to my party? Are the people I call my friends the people I should fear the most? Should I laugh at the ‘mafia’ jokes or should I discourage them? When at work, should I be offended by the sentence ‘Italian stallion’ because it portraits me as a sexual predator or should I think it’s used with the best intentions? Will I lose my job over this blog? Will I be forced to quit? Will I be called by one of the ever-changing HR specialists? Will I be summoned in front of one of the mythical super secret HR investigators? Who is going to be personally offended this time?

I’m trapped among people that share a lot of my interests but I cannot talk to them without filling some sort of online form!! :)(

“

Is this a personal blog or a work blog? How do I categorize it? Should I put this questions in or outside the quotes?